“Be alone. Eat alone. Take yourself on dates,sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself”.
“Aren’t you scared?”
“Wow you’re brave!”
” I would never let my daughter travel Europe alone”
“I would be so lonely and bored of myself”
I could never do it”
Believe it or not these are just a sample of the many reactions I get when I told people of my future plans to travel Europe in September alone. Both men and women are taken back by the idea, I guess because it’s still unconventional in this century, especially for a woman . If I inspire at least one person to be venture out of their comfort bubble and feel comfortable with themselves enough to travel solo then this blog has done its job.
I have always been a wanderer though. I still feel like the kid who went to the mall with my parents who wants to go off on my own and explore. That sense of freedom is sacred and we should hold onto that as much as we can. I have just always liked going off on my own and doing my own thing.
If it’s one skill I have learned to foster and take away from my second year living abroad in Korea it’s to be satisfied and content traveling and living alone with myself. Living on your own in your home country is one thing. But to do it in a completely foreign country? On the other side of the world? That perspective is through a totally different looking glass all together. Being immersed in independence allows you to reflect on what you want in life. It filters out all the exterior noise from what other people want and forces you to focus on the most important person: You.
You learn to like your own company.
You can be on your own, but you don’t have to be lonely.You don’t to be a loner. You can be alone with your thoughts, and therefore be more in tune with yourself. Being solo allows you to spoil yourself because you simply don’t have to make any compromises for anyone else. Learning to embrace being alone, I think is critical to being comfortable in your own skin. It’s taken a while to be fully comfortable solo but now that I’m at that stage I am really thankful!
It’s healthy.
I think being alone is a necessary skill to have in order to be successful in life. Appreciating myself. This is coming from a very social person who loves and thrives being around people. You can have the best of both worlds and I’m learning to balance the two out. Being alone sometimes is healthy and necessary to recharge. You definitely don’t have to be an anti-social person wearing a hoodie covering your face and hunched in a corner far away from people. You can be that social butterfly, while being alone and genuinely enjoying your own company too.
You learn to trust and like yourself a lot more.
I started travelling alone to Australia last year and it’s amazing. Why wait around for your friends to travel with you? Just do it! Don’t limit yourself. There is nothing like learning to trust yourself, because at the end of the day you have you to depend on you first and foremost. You can also meet more amazing people along the way as well.This September Europe trip is the biggest one for me yet: London,Paris, Amsterdam, Prague and Copenhagen.3 down and 2 more to go!
Being alone is liberating.
Lets change the dialogue around the idea of being alone. We can do this by first changing up the vocabulary that is tied to it: independent, solo explorer, and self-sufficient are all imbued with freeing sentiments. If we think of those images the next time we think of being solitary, there is really no need for us to be afraid of being on our own. Let’s debunk the socially construed notion that to be alone is pathetic or pitiful. We can be totally capable and independent people, who thrive enjoying our own company.
Ultimately you are never really truly alone, because you are with yourself, and NEVER ever feel guilty for being solitary. I know it sounds cliché but when you learn to be happily alone, you learn to really like and respect yourself in the process. When you do have some “me time”, chances are you may discover new things that you never knew before. So what are you waiting for? Even if it’s taking yourself on a date. It’s still a process, but I’m learning it’s okay to be alone. It’s entirely 100 percent okay. At the end of the day if you don’t like being alone doesn’t that mean you essentially don’t like your own company and thus yourself ? Maybe it’s really not for everyone but at least try it.
Ask yourself when was the last time you were alone? Did you like it? Why or why not?
I think thriving to be alone and getting along with yourself is just as much a social skill as learning to get along with others. Preschool doesn’t really cover that basic.
sliceofkimchi 